The couple

It had been four months and Julia knew what was going on. She had nothing to complain, she had had a good life- a loving family, a faithful husband, a couple of good friends and her beloved dogs who never made her wonder whether she had enough love to go round. She waited patiently for the results; not expecting a miracle but just a tentative date as to when she leaves her family, loving husband and friends behind to rest for once and for all. She saw a glimmer in his husband's eyes which said,"I'm not ready! I never will be!", she placed her hand on his and reassured him with a look of,"I need you to be strong my love!" Her parents had left for heavenly abode and she was glad that they had, cause her mother used to say,"There's nothing more painful than to lose a child with the parents still alive". Few of her close friends were taking care of her house, her dogs and her husband who was growing ever more lean.
The doctor came in with the reports. She felt like it was a repeat of Scrubs/Grey's anatomy; she knew the look, the pauses, the sense of practised guilt of having nothing more that they could deliver. But she was a strong woman, she made it easy for the doctor. She asked him,"How much time do I have left?", her husband stared at her startled with the question as she felt her husband's world shatter and noticed a tear roll out from the corner of his eye.

The doctor said,"Three weeks, I am extremely sorry. But, we can still........." . She looked at her husband and said,"Let me go while I am not a vegetable, let me pass away like a human being!" He didn't know how to respond, after all she was just 40 years of age and to him, she still looked like the teenager he fell in love with on the first day of high school. He felt there were so many things that he had promised that were yet to be done, they were yet to buy a condo and shift to Los Angeles and stay by the sun and sand; they were yet to take a world tour, yet to love each other more...so much more. He thought of the times he had disappointed his ever loving beautiful wife.

A thousand thoughts were swirling through his mind...it was like the entire thing was a bad dream and he just couldn't shake it off and wake up. He tried hard, but he could not! He saw the doctor mouth a few words that seemed like,"I'll give you a minute", he wasn't sure though; he wasn't sure of anything that was happening. He had unknowingly started walking, walking out of the room and almost out of the hospital; he heard his wife's soft screams calling out to him but it was like his legs were not in control of his body. His childhood friend caught up to him and shook him and said,"Tim! Tim! Can you hear me??? Julia needs you!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME!!! TIM!!!"

A couple of minutes later, Tim had regained his sense of talking. John had informed Julia that Tim is with him and fine and that she should not worry. They'd be back soon. After a while the first words Tim uttered were,"Who is with Julia?" John said,"Rosanne is there, don't worry. Even she needs a friend and Rosanne is just as strong as Julia; but we need to take care of you right now. Tim, she is dying and you know that; don't act like you didn't. I know you hoped against hope; but deep in your heart you knew. I guess it is time you pulled out that courage and used it. I know you can't be prepared for death; but you have to...for your sake, for Julia's sake."

Tim stayed quiet, he looked down at the unevenness of the cemented floor and he noticed the blobs, he didn't want to listen to what John was saying, even though he knew every word he is saying was true and he will have to do it sooner or later. He was really concentrating on this particular blob that had a fine thread around it which reminded him of Julia's blonde smooth hair and how it sways in the wind and how it smells every morning when he wakes up next to her. Before he knew he noticed tiny circular formations on the floor, he realised he was crying; not crying out of anger, not crying out of a sense of loss; but crying that he has to stand and face the fact that his loved one is dying and he had to be standing next to her stronger than ever before cause he loved her so much more than this mere gesture. He felt John's arm on his shoulder and he knew that though he is not alone on this road but he realised that in a matter of three weeks nothing will ever be the same. His first and only love, will no longer be there to grow old with him. He quivered as he bent into two and John knew just the thing to do at least that's what they've done ever since they were little kids; a hug. John's hugs were magical; he would soak away all the gloom that anyone had and if it were a joyous moment it would get quadrupled. Tim picked himself up and walked to the water tap, splashed his face with the cold Michigan winter water.

Tim walked in to the room and greeted his love with a smile and looked towards Rosanne and said,"Could you give us a minute?",Rosanne as prompt as ever left the room with a smile and without much delay.
Tim looked deep into Julia's eyes, which still bore that blue ring around her cornea just like the first day that he met her. He said,"Julia, you know I love you, more with every fleeting moment and this is not easy for you or me. But I love you enough to let you decide how you live your life...[pauses, sniffs]..or leave this world. So what I'm trying to tell you is that I'm going to stand by you in whatever decision you make.(Smiles) But, only if you promise me you'll get us a good condo in heaven, cause baby I'm gonna come to get you soon; so don't flirt around too much with those handsome angels; cause I will break those pricks bones once I get there." She giggled through her tear filled eyes and clogged nose and said,"Thank you hon. Thanks for standing by me, I have always and will always love you. If on days you find that you hear the bell ring but no one's at the door, that is cause I'm asking you to clean the house, clean yourself, feed Goldy and Snoopy and take them out for a walk."

Julia wanted to come home and spend the last few days with friends and her dogs. One fine day as she woke up next to Tim, she noticed that Goldy and Snoopy were waiting expectantly by the bed that they'll get to go for a walk soon. She turned over to Tim and called him softly, her voice still groggy with sleep. She covered her mouth as she had done for the past 18 years of married life and called him softly. He turned around and hugged her and said,"I like your morning breath why are you robbing me of that smell?" She shied away from him just like the first time he had said the sentence and said,"Cause I don't get kicks out of spreading germs and I wish I could have taught you that in the past 18 years, alas! Some people are just spoilt beyond repair!" Tim groaned,smiled and said,"Fine. I'm going to get you your brush and I'll clean up, we'll take these lazy bums (pointing to Goldy and Snoopy) for a walk and then we can get some breakfast ok?" She smiled and nodded. She never felt more loved.

It had been a week since she passed away. Tim still didn't know how to live his life. He didn't find the will to wake up or get up or feed the dogs or clean the house. Goldy and Snoopy were very sensitive and they tried their best to not seek any attention. They had managed to make the dog food box drop from the shelf and they ate it off of the floor. They answered their calls of nature in the garden.

It was the 21st of December, he didn't know how he was going to spend the festivities of this season without his beloved. He didn't know if he'd be able to make it past a mistletoe without having a complete breakdown. He just kept reeling through the memories- her hair, her smell, her clothes, her smile, the loud cackle of her laughter reverberating through the house and another few houses....THUDDD!!!! Tim heard a noise, but he didn't have the heart to get up. While he laid down their wondering, steal what you want just let my dogs and the photos be! He heard a voice, a voice that he knew meant trouble. He heard it again, "TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! Are you there?!!! TTTTTTTTIIIIIMMMMMMMM!!!!!" Crap, it was his sister Donna, he knew she was going to lecture him. He could hear her proceeding footsteps towards the door. He wanted to run and hide, but his muscles failed to. Donna marched in and said,"God! TIM!!! Will you look at yourself. I cannot tolerate you and your awful smell! Go get decent! We have the hearing of the will today and I will not take no for an answer and you know there is no point arguing with me. So go on, go ahead. I'll lay out your clothes for you,just get ready! Then come down for breakfast! Wonder what Goldy and Snoopy are eating!"

Tim marched on and followed his sister's orders mostly cause he didn't have the energy to do anything else. 45 minutes later they left in Donna's car.

They reached the hearing on time. Tim couldn't have cared less, he just wanted his wife back at the cost of his complete fortune. After the hearing, the lawyer came up to him and said,"Julia had left a letter for you."
He rushed into the bathroom as he knew that's the only place where he could read undisturbed. He ripped apart the envelope. The letter read:
"Dear Tim,
Hi baby. So I guess I kicked the bucket before you eh? YOoohooo, I don't have to be the last one, I beat you to the race. Come on Tim you know, it has always meant everything for me to win. Anyway, I love you hon. And don't worry if any of the rockstars land up here am not goinng flirt with them, you have my word ;). I guess you are not cleaning the house, or yourself. Do that hon, it hurts for me to see you live like that. We are all responsible for our own lives. As far as Snoopy and Goldy are concerned I bet they are being the absolute dolls that they are. Or dogs, whatever :P ! I know we've discussed this a million times before but I'll say it again. Don't end your life, just cause mine has ended. I cannot see you live like this. Go out there, live your life and as Joey said,"Grab a spoon!" ;). It would make me so delirious to see you live and love again. Take your time but do move on hon. And about loving, I guess Missy Higgins has said everything I want to say. Since I'm sure you don't know about the song or the artist here goes the lyrics, and I will alawys love your for everything you do, everything you don't, everything you are and everything you aren't!

"I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood"

Love you darl.
Muaah Muaah!
Forever yours loved wife,
Julia."

Tim didn't know what he was going to do after he finished reading this letter. But he realised he doesn't need to do anything but live, for Julia's sake; and learn to live without Julia. As he stepped out of the building, he found the rays of Sun sparkling on yesterday's snow, and was reflected to his eyes. He took out his shades, descended the steps and he said to himself,"Here goes nothing!"

"Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings"

Attempt:

Around a year back someone had asked me, "What does Stairway to heaven mean?" I had given him a little perception of the song. Then I went hunting on the net. What next shocked me was the various range of explanations I found for the same, ranging from God believing Christian fanatic views to extremely dark Satanic views, and all these views suit the song so well its hard to tell what is true and what is not. 

The God believing Christian view of it is as follows:

There is a lady entwined in the materialistic pleasures of the world. She is so engulfed by the mortal pleasures to the extent that a word fetches her all her hearts desires to an extent that she thinks she can buy her stairway to heaven. But, she doesn't find the store  that sells her the stairway to heaven; but she's determined to find it; as she's been blinded by her stubborn nature.

And the materialistic world has made her shrewd enough to make sure that when she does buy it, it is what she paid for. Songbird, is symbolic of angel incarnate as music is deemed to be good and pure much like an angel; and preaches that all of our views are dyed with misconceptions that we bear of today's world.

There is a feeling that overpowers Plant when he looks towards the setting sun as it yearns to be liberated and attain moksha. His thoughts symbolically represent him being stranded amidst a burning forest (more thoughts) yet he finds the will to stand strong and be faithful to his beliefs. This prevailing confusion makes him ponder. It could also be symbolic to deforestation and how we are all not doing anything about it.

While being lost the only thing that is keeping him positive is that somewhere his conscience whispers to him that singing the tune of faith, Jesus will lead them to reason. It will lead to a new day that will echo with laughter of triumph of all that is good, with forests reclaiming the land.

If there is a sound in the forest don't be alarmed it is God weeding out the evil and all that is good in the world prevails. The May Queen signifies the Queen of bloom and the season for blossom, representing all that good is in full bloom. There is always two ways you can approach a problem; as an ancient Sanskrit text (Samyutta Nikaaya) reads,"Tasmaa satan ca asatan ca naanaa hot ito gati, asanto nirayam yanti santo saggaparaayanaa" meaning, "Therefore do the paths of the good and the evil of this world divide; the evil go to hell but the final destination of the good is heaven.” We always have the option of changing what and how we do something; it is never too late to 'change the road you're on'.

Once you're enlightened by the ways of God, you will be attracted by the sheer vitality of His existence. Referring to the old lady's idea of buying your way into heaven is fleeting with the wind.

And as year goes by with barely any time left to live, we all know of a lady who irrespective of her age is still not wise or realistic as she still believes she can buy her way into heaven.

If and when you open your souls to the truth, after the spring cleaning of the May Queen all are together and equal, and to put an end to moribund thinking and come to rest and attain nirvana. 

While some of us get wiser there are and will always be people who believe they can buy their way into heaven.

Satanic version:

The satanic version is very inane as only certain parts of it show complete relevance while other parts just seems a forced upon thinking.
"There's a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
'cause you know sometimes words have two meanings."
This humours one's sense of hell and heaven. If Plant were a devil worshipper he would think of hell as heaven.


"There's a feeling I get when I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving".
Christians believe that Jesus will arrive from the east and hence are buried facing east. Looking at the west shows that he is yearning to be one with Satan at its earliest.


"And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul".
In this part of the song it refers to our shadows as something darker and possibly "evil" and our souls are usually referred to as something holy. Our shadows are taller than our souls could refer to being on the path of hell.


"Then the piper will lead us to reason.

And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.”
This raptures that in the end you will be rewarded for the path you take.


History:

There are several accounts of the song's existence. In one, Plant says that he wrote it after a period spent before the fire contemplating “spiritual perfection” at the band’s country house in Headley Grange. In another, Plant says that Page played him the chord changes and his hand spontaneously began writing the immortal first words. In another version, Page recalls that Plant jotted down about three quarters of the lyrics on the spot at the band’s very first rehearsal of the song. Stephen Davis maintains that Plant had written under the spell of Lewis Spence, particularly his Magic Arts in Great Britain. Of course, these versions are not mutually exclusive – one or more could be combined. This was considered as Plant's epiphany of spiritualism.

Perceptions:

The Christian views believed that Heaven and Christianity was so ideally represented, that God gifted Led Zep with the #1 spot in all music countdown thereafter even now! While songs like "Highway to Hell" ended up being just another song in the history of rock. "The key to understanding ‘Stairway to Heaven’ is in the cover art on the album. On the back is a prophet on a hill holding a lantern with a six pointed star in it.This is a direct reference to the world of sacred geometry, which has a connection to the world of the occult. (Hence the connection with Aliester Crowly). When you start to understand the teachings of Plato, and why the sign over his academy read, “Let no man enter here who does not understand geometry”, you will begin to understand how the song was created, and why it resonates with our souls.You will also begin to understand that the lyrics of the song is a prophecy that has only started to become relavent in the last few years, and consequently, could not have been correctly interpreted before this time."

Satanic believers have their own set of beliefs, obviously. It is believed that Plant was heavily intoxicated when he was at Headley Grange and he saw Satan speak to him through the flames in the bonfire and he promised him sheer success if he were to write a song preaching Satan's dark words. It is believed that Plant agreed and fudged back-masking into the song dedicating the song to Satan on a global platform. 

I don't believe that Zepellin intentionally put the stuff about Satan in there, but rather that they did draw these dark entities into their music via their lifestyle and Page's then fascination with Aleister Crowley. This pact is also to be held responsible for the death of John Bonham; another price that the band had to pay for their success. Obviously Led Zep denies this, who wouldn't!

Back-masking:

Back-masking is a way of hiding messages which are revealed once played backward. 

The lyrics turn into:

"Plaaaay backwards,

Hear why its sung here, oppositioner..
Allll on track, all arriving
They all sing, and they are one.
Shall I loathe you now, parishoner?
Oh hear Him, Christian within me.
It stirs my sin; the river,
Oh, she swells with our lousiness.
All my life will end for him?
We’re all out of signs,
I know I’m sorta shocked
To hear The Lord,
My God now will save me!
Oh I will n’er be saved,
Because I live with Satan..
One wish today;
That you’ll all pray for
Three who will make it here late.
Pray now and you’ll see..
The ‘Lord’ turned me on,
But, oh, I was the shaggy fool..
Clothed in agony,
Lost at a height.
There’s No Escaping it.
Nor his woes.. 
So here’s to my Sweet Satan. 
The one who’s little path 
Would make me sad, 
Whose power is satan. 
He’ll give you 666. 
there was a little toolshed, 
where he made 
us suffer sad Satan. 
Ohohohoh... 
“Family won’t get loose, 
They’re offered me”
Always soothes the worker. 
Always will be as we know now 
“I see ruins,” said he, 
“the world they offered me? 
Who wished the Lord’s fall”
If we lose feather, 
Say you’ll save me! 

And no wimps can bend the rules.. 
And no wimps can do.. 

Hunt next to the shore, 
‘Cause they see all from there, 
See here’s the news, 
Who walks with mute grief! 
Perhaps no-one found thee... 
“Heavy, lift me out,” 
Spake the Reve, 
“Someday, failed, we’ll lose one line-up, 
They’ve gotta leave forsaken”

And no wimps can do.. 
And no wimps can do... 

He, who say the lords 
Thoth have our laws, 
Maat must be superb. Mass is ended.. 
Over there, 
He who should learn thee. 
Any moot that serves by my sworn music, 
I wish it with snow be shushed, All for my mass’s sake. 
Hear why its sung, 
here, oppositioner, Ohh.. 
He who should show 
May make his show worthy, 
To look, for us, odd.. sickly, 
There’s one chance - take his show. 
Hold thy head, 
Hear why its sung here. oppositioner. 
Who owns this earth built below? 
Oh sweet Israel… "


Well I have heard it too and it sounds exactly like that. While I agree the content is true; I find it highly unlikely that he had intentionally put all this content in there. What I guess makes up my mind is that I'm listening to it when it plays forward so the backward content of it is really irrelevant.

Spiritualism, is very complex, bearing a certain sense of duality. You can interpret it in any form you wish to. It is like Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, meaning we can't really know the truth, but merely seek glimpses of it.

Career diversity

I had once read, "There's no such thing as a fun job! Have you ever seen an advertisement that read 'Wanted Pizza eater', of course not! Work is supposed to stink and that comes by the basic definition of it!". Nonetheless, with an assignment less than a week left to cover, I am busy procrastinating  in my dream world, thinking of all the wonderful things! 


I wondered, if there were any fun jobs and I came across seemingly fun jobs like a Theme park employee, Hollywood wardrobe stylist, groomer, hairstylist, baker, wedding planner, publicist..but all these careers I could see myself getting tired out, by a max of 2 years and most probably strangling my clients. LOL. So I moved on...I searched the internet for fun courses. I thought to myself, what do I really adore and is a part of my daily life. I heard my soul speak almost howling, MUSIC! So I looked for courses in music.
I was fascinated by the number of courses focussing on rock music. I found Perth university, which offers you a MA in Rock Music Studies and Maryville University of St. Louis offering B.A. in Cultural Studies of Rock Music. But the most obnoxious degree of all requires a run up, and I will give it the much demanded honour.


UK is perhaps one of the most recession hit countries, its pound rate from a 82 INR went down to as low as 62 INR, had 10% more unemployed people in the age group 16-25 and raised its VAT from 15 to 17.5% in order to recover from this blizzard hit state. If the bigger picture goes down then obviously its sub-parts go down too, basic logic. Liverpool, in the light of "The Beatles" is considered to be where it all began! The town realises its potential and pools in the "ka-ching" like no other with the "Hard Day's Night Hotel", which is perhaps the Hard Rock Hotel, Las Vegas's English version. Enough said about the backdrop now the real run. 


Liverpool Hope Foundation offers a MA degree in "The Beatles, Popular Music and Society”. I understand you want to pool in cash but do it with some class. Do not mistake me, I am an ardent classic rock fan and it doesn't get more classic than "The Beatles", but what do you do with this degree? In what scenario is this degree relevant! There are already more than 8,000 books in the market! What novel stuff could these people write or stumble upon 40 years of disintegration of "The Beatles", 2 dead artists (John Lennon and George Harrison) and 8,000 books later? More hauntingly who could want a masters in Beatles?
I realise that in India we do not have such wide career options but at the end of the day, you need some direction; this isn't a summer camp, its a masters degree.


Funny how people will get pooled into anything. I hope people realise this money scam for a masters degree and decide better. 


[Hope you enjoyed a work of my critical self, as pointed out by someone; I suffer from Multiple personality disorder! :P ]

Stupidity: Not passée but In Vogue!

Stupidity is commonly interpreted as lack of intelligence, understanding or maturity.
As kids, the word "Stupid" was treated with same hostility from our parents like we used a f---aar worse word, if you catch my drift. Although, soon enough we acted so stupid that our parents were forced to utter these very unholy words and chide us with a common and much heard, "Stop acting so stupid..get serious... deal with your life and don't act like an ostrich!" So commonly heard, that it is almost a cliché  now.  We were incessantly told not to act stupid and the harder we tried the stupider we got. Sometimes we didn't even realise that we are acting stupid, to an extent that stupidity got incorporated into acting polite.

For example, today when I got back home with a huge amount of food supplies peeping out of my bag; my flatmate politely asked, "You went grocery shopping?" , I nodded yes; we smiled and parted ways. It was without a doubt,very clear to her that I had gone shopping, but stupidity prevails. If I were in her situation I would say the same thing!
Someone colours their hair and when they look at you with a look of "praise me", you say-"Coloured your hair?", she says "Yes!" and somehow amidst this, a thought gets passed that you were praising them, I don't know how that works out; but it does!

We were taught to be polite; but in today's world, with oh! So many morons floating about, it is almost impossible. While some are naturally stupid, others just abuse the privilege. We try to fill the gap and the best we can come up with is, stupidity.

I would say, being stupid is the new being polite.

I rest my case, sire!